The Love Languages of God

Many of you have probably heard of Gary Chapman’s book called “The Five Love Languages.” The premise of the book is that people [prefer to] give and receive love in different ways. Gary Chapman broke down ways in which people give/receive love into five different love languages: spending quality time, giving gifts, acts of service, physical affection, and words of affirmation. Knowing and understanding the main love language of your spouse goes a long way in building and transforming your marriage.

This book was so popular and transformed so many marriages that Gary Chapman wrote several more love language books targeting different relationships/people including singles, family, children, teenagers, and God. We’ve never read the other love language books although we have some in our library.

Last night as we read Henri Nouwen’s “Show Me the Way: Daily Lenten Readings” as part of our Lent journey, we came across something that might have been written in “The Love Languages of God.”

I know that true joy comes from letting God love me the way God wants, whether it is through illness or health, failure or success, poverty or wealth, rejection or praise. It is hard for me to say, "I shall gratefully accept everything, Lord, that please you. Let your will be done." But I know that when I truly believe my Father is pure love, it will become increasingly possible to say these words from the heart. Henri Nouwen

Letting God love us the way He wants. . . through illness or health, failure or success, poverty or wealth, rejection or praise, bad or good times, sadness or joy, etc… It’s along the same line as yesterday’s reading:

What is new is that we no longer experience the many things, people, and events as endless causes for worry, but begin to experience them as the rich variety of ways in which God makes his presence known to us. Henri Nouwen

If we can experience all these things as opportunities to experience God’s love for us, then our perspective on living will be changed/transformed. We no longer fear what is to come because we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).

Our Daily Bread

Reading about it and sharing all that is easy, but learning to truly live it out in our lives is not.

We’ve been learning so much about God’s love in the midst of the difficulties and challenges that we face. The passing of a dearly loved one is something that will take a long time for us to fully comprehend the goodness of our God. The challenges of our present and future health needs will require a lot of faith and trust on our part. Our future is in God’s hands. We need only to take one step at a time, one day at a time. So we pray, “Give us each day our daily bread.”

And indeed, God demonstrates His love to us by providing our daily bread. Susan originally took two weeks of unpaid leave around Chinese New Year to spend time with her sister. This was when Iris was still doing quite well. But things just got progressively worse for Iris and it was a last minute decision (literally) not to take the return flight back to Shanghai. She was all packed and ready to go. The shuttle service to the airport was about to arrive. But she decided to stay behind. How much longer she’d stay, it was unknown.

First it was just another week. Then it was another two weeks. Then it was another “few” weeks or months. Her managers at National Instruments were very understanding and supportive. Then it was Jason’s turn to make the same request. He took unpaid leave for two weeks to come back to the U.S. to be with family. And now he’s back in Shanghai while Susan continues to stay behind. All her projects have been transferred already so she doesn’t have to worry about work. Her job will still be there when she goes back to Shanghai.

God is good. 

Last night when Jason called and shared some good news, it was just the affirmation and assurance we needed to believe that God does provide for our daily bread. Jason just received his year-end bonus. We weren’t expecting any because of the poor economy. It was the EXACT AMOUNT that we would have been paid for all the unpaid leave we took (and still taking). 2.5 months for Susan and 2 weeks for Jason.

God is great.

And to top that off, a salary raise that makes his new salary the equivalent of our combined salaries three years ago when Jason started working. Even if Susan decides to take more time off from work, all our needs are more than sufficiently met.

God is awesome.

And so we live one day at a time and say, “Give us each day our daily bread.”